Archive for them

14 months and moving on

after the twelve months i really thought things, surprising things, would slow down, i really imagined that between their mommy who started walking at 9 months, and their daddy that got up at 2 years-old, it’d take a while before walking was part of their lifes. but their 13th month was really just a space between crawling fast, to too fast and getting up and walking. 5 days before their 14th monthaverssary they got up and instead of the usual and already so common two-steps-fall, F got up and walked from their bedroom to the livingroom (mommy style)… which are about 15steps in their tiny feet… M watched that day still playing it safe and not really wanting to be less than perfect (daddy style)… the next morning M at around lunch time decided it was his turn to shine and did the same, circa 15steps from bedroom to livingroom and clapped in the end. i never thought it’d be so overwhelming, i mean i had seen so much already, between sleeping the whole night, eating everything (only complaining when the plate is empty… which always seems too soon for them), blabbing, crawling, i thought i had prepared myself to see them walk and think “good for you” without tears or ridiculous “awwwws”… but no. no way could i see those proud smiles, laughs, claps and not shed a tear or hold them so tight they’d want to not walk but run away. it’s impossible to watch all that effort for a few steps and not feel an imense joy, and a scary feeling for them. if you look at them while they focus on their feet and overcome obstacles… my kids not only walk but they prefer to step over higher things, they don’t go around the toys, they rather go through them, stepping over boxes and pillows, the harder it is it seems to make them happier and less scared of whatever crosses their way. and i just stare. i cheer, and i hold them at the end of the corridor when they decide that they want to try running and they can’t seem to find the brakes, but just before they fall into my arms laughing and pretending their running from eachother, i freeze time and see every muscle growing, moving and their hearts beating faster and happier. i see their eyes open up as if they just saw the world, i see every little movement as a conquest. there isn’t anything in this new phase that i can’t relate to right now.

as they beging to walk and discover how amazing it is to do things by themselves while still knowing we’re there right behind them, we, the adults, the parents are also about to embark on a whole new world.

i left lisbon in 2002, initially for only 10months… well, that ended up being 9years… he has also left his home in milan in 2005 and what was uncertain became 6years. we are about to go away, towards north this time, to the hemisphere we grew up in, to europe, to portugal… to lisbon. i am finally going home.

i do not know what to expect. yes, it’s the place i grew up in, the place i left but always wanted to go back to… but while doing this i had no idea i’d be who i am right now and so going back is not going back to who i was, it’s a whole new thing. i’m scared of everything that i have missed, or thought i couldn’t live without and did, scared of having made up an idea of what lisbon is, instead of what it became. i am scared of realizing i am part of a much larger world and not of just lisbon. you may think this is contradictory to what i always said, but when the moment finally arrives you notice that you might now know the place anymore. in 9 years i’ve gone back “home” always on holiday or maternity leave and what place doesn’t look, feel, taste new than when you see it on a 24h timelimit? i had no plans, i could visit all my friends in just one day, or divide them up between meals in a whole week. i could climb all the 7hills on one day (except when i was carrying twins obviously!) or decide not to and take the tram (also not when pregnant!). i could decide to explore new shops, new restaurants, new parks, new brunches, new views just because i had time… but what happens when that time in that same city you explored thouroughly is replaces by a 9 to 5 job? do you really see it anymore? do you really live it? in milan we did, in antwerp we did, in maputo we tried… but when you had such an admiration for a place and a almost mystical feeling towards it, it might just come crashing down… and that scares me… a lot. it’s like their tiny steps…

i’m taking it slow, though all tell me to hurry for there is an economic crisis in the world, as if i’ve been living away from it, as if i haven’t felt here any of it. i know it’s going to get very tough, but i need this, i want this and i will do what i can to make the transition easy. my babies will feel the change, i know, even if only through us or maybe because they won’t see their nanny anymore, gosh if i could she’d come with us, but they will have grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, my friends and their children to grow up with and maybe one day i’ll be able to explain how hard thought needed this decision was. leaving is not leaving, it’s starting… it’s trying harder to give them and us what makes up happy. we chose to have them to ourselves for this year, we decided things for them and we created a world for them with the four of us, it’s time to share, to let them see everyone else to let them know that we also are beginning… also taking our first steps towards something we can’t see but hope and imagine it as a happy place.

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a birth story…

that morning i woke up feeling tired for the first time in 37 weeks of a wonderful pregnancy. someone once told me “the moment you feel tired, something’s about to happen”… they were right.

my c-section was scheduled for two days later and i had spent the day before enjoying a wonderful time with friends on our terrace eating a great and tasty bbq. i was not worried, but that morning i woke up wanting to go back to bed. my sister sent me an sms very early knowing i was waking up early too to pick up my in-laws telling me that i should measure my blood pressure just to keep an eye on it until the delivery on wednesday… she knew i had no more appointments until then so as a doctor herself her advice was very clear. as he went into the coffee place i decided to go to the pharmacy and have that blood pressure measured… as the nurse measured it and his eyes become worried i felt a small panic inside… “maybe you should call your doctor…” i did… “stay calm… get someone to drive you to the hospital asap and i’ll be right there” i cried… there was no one to drive me… i drove myself to the hospital with a very high blood pressure, two babies kicking and tears swelling up in my eyes… while i drove, he made a few calls and his parents who were already waiting for us at the airport were picked up by someone else and found out in their first moments in lisbon that they’re 5th and 6th grandchildren were about to be born.

as i parked the car in a non-parking zone and walked slowly to the EMERGENCY entrance at the São Francisco Xavier Maternity Ward in Lisbon i felt better, someone feeling them move and kick made me know we were ok. the three of us.

the doctor that received me was not the onw i was witing for… in a public hospital you can’t really chose… so i took it as it came. she meassured my blood pressure confirming it was too high. she decided that i should calm down a bit before deciding to deliver the babies and with that deciding also to do one last ecography to see if everything was ok.

it was then that my sister walked in and held my hand. things weren’t supposed to be this way but it took about 5 long minutes of silence, 2 more minutes of calling another doctor and a very long sigh… “one baby hasn’t survived” i heard… i’m sure my heart skipped a few beats. my sister, doctor as she is but more importantly my sister, gasped, cried, and left to not make me nervous. i yelled to her not to tell him… and i told the doctor ignorant as i alsways have been in medicine… “it’s not true. they’re both alive… but if i’m wrong, please get my little bosy out” no one had told me they were boys, but i knew it, for 37 long weeks i knew they were boys… two… two alive little boys. but i’m not a doctor, just a pregnat woman speaking as afraid as she’s ever been. tears ran down my cheeks slowly and quietly and a silent prayer was said. i felt the kicks still and secretly hoped the doctor was wrong. another 2 minutes went by that seemed so long until i hear “no… it’s here, it’s here. they’re both alive”, no excitement, no happiness but a beating tiny heart making all the noise it could to make mommy know everything was going to be ok.

after that everything went a bit too quickly eventhough i had to lay down for about 20mins in order to slow down my blood pressure and be ready to deliver the babies in a c-section.

i didn’t tell him straight away, i let him not worry about it until the day after. so i went into this surgery room hoping i’d leave it with two perfect little boys that would be as beautiful as he was… at least to me.

c-section isn’t something i’d chose myself, but i believed and still do that mother’s in labor should suffer the least in order to give their best afterwards. in case of twins, if one delivery can strain you, two is just crazy. i didn’t give much thought, i wanted them out, clean and smelling of CHICCO products, no matter how they got there. but… if i can be totally honest a c-section is a traumatizing occasion. i hated it. i felt as if they were just plainly shaking my body back and forth, i felt nauseous, dizzy, tired and i admit, afraid. not feeling almost your whole body is a horrible experience… until… until you hear that cry.

matteo arrived first right at 13:01, just in time for mommy to skip lunch and there for helping me lose weight… he cried, not loud, but still a powerful cry. Federico arrived three minutes later at 13:04, crying the same tiny, quiet but beautiful sound. this time tears fell again but my heart pounded so much stronger! they were here… just a meter away from me… they were alive. i kept thinking they’d die riht away, thinking that because they couldn’t find a heartbeat that someone they were born with some defection in their hearts…

i cried a lot, silently, watching the nurses clean and dress them, but it wasn’t until they brought them to me, and laid them in my arms that i realized there was nothing to cry about, nothing to be afraid, they needed me and i was ready, whatever came our way i was there. they were finally here… my tiny little boys.

the three of us “lived” together still by ourselves for another two hours, and in those two hours i talked to them constantly, reminding them who i was, what was about to happen and how i wished the best in the world. they were the most perfect little boys and i was the happiest and most fullfilled woman on the planet at that moment. at least until he saw them and named them… then yes, i was done. everything i ever wanted was there… the pain was gone, the fright relieved, and worriness diluted… at least for then. and he was in love.

three days later we went home, from that moment on we were a family, learning everyday, together and for eachother.

i will never forget the day you were born my bunnies and no matter how scared i was deep inside i knew it couldn’t be true. sometimes instinct is all that keeps you focused. trust it… always.

 

1 year!

more than 37 weeks…

my baby boys are now out of me for more than they were in… don’t mean to be gross, but that’s how i saw this moment. they are now completely free. i am no longer the one who protected them the longest, i am the one with him who show them the world…

they have been growing up fast, indeed very fast, and sometimes i realize that i never really knew what nine month old babies could do. standing up on their own, trying to walk every change they can, or crawling backwards but still crawling, chatting as if they are grown ups are all thing i thought older children did, and not babies… not mine at least. but as i sit on the couch and look at them playing, i know that this is what it’s supposed to be like. i’m supposed to feel overwhelmed when i see them “understanding” what we ask and say, i get teary when i see F walking, when M talks as if making ocnversation. i am just one old fashioned mommy.

i get worried when someone says “i think he has a fever” or “he’s a been quiet”, but i also know that my babies have never been ill, and have never forgotten to smile at us, to us and with us. my babies are known for their beautiful smiles, funny sounds, admirable atitudes, amazing interaction, there is not one person we know here that hasn’t been able to hold up and play with them without having this true, warm and funny reaction. they allow anyone to get close, look at them but it takes a song, a smile, a toy and the sounds of their names to make them clap their hands and laugh out loud.

watching them adapt to everything that is new to them is almost as if i’m watching myself. i wonder if i was the same way, if i got scared when a heard a scream, or if i got happily excited when i heard a dog barking in the neighbour’s yard, if i also clapped my hands really hard when my dad came home from work, if my mother also picked me up and allowed me to caress her with my tiny fingers. i imagine myself also trying very hard to crawl, getting upset because the toy i try to reach seems to get farther away, but feel proud when someone picks it up for me anyway. was i also an early morning baby, and did i also have a bed full of soft toys with which i played for hours by myself?

was i like F that jumps up when he seems me and asks for my arms to hold him, or was i like M that dances everytime i sing to him. was i also nto afraid of much and happy with most. was food such a pleasure as it it for them, i mean these boys eat anything: carrots, potatoes, sweet-potatoes, eggplant, mushroom, corn, tomato, spinach, green beans, rice, pasta, chicken, rabbit, turnkey, fish, apple, pears, papaya, mango, banana, peach, prune, avocato… and pápa cerelac, cookies and sometimes a birthday cake!

going to work has been a challenge, i’m not as professionally fulfilled as i used to be when i had only myself to worry about, ok sometimes with him to, but now i leave them while they’re still awake and no matter how much they wave good-bye to me, and seem happy and healthy from the door, i think about them a lot during my five hour workday, i just can’t wait to see them again, for i feel sometimes so lonely without them. they say hello when i get home in a way i can never explain but my heart skips a beat, i know it, and relaxes when i kiss them hello. all my worries from home seem so small, so ridiculous around them. they are the cause of my lack of concentration and i admit i have made some bad calls, i’ll pay for it in the long run, but my excuse is real, and tiny and cute. i wish work was more stimulating as they are, but it will get there as they will grow i’m sure.

it is definitely something i want to have close to me, and nothing this simple has ever made me so complete. but also so exhausted.

these first nine months have been like another pregnancy, in a strange way now i’m ready to see them agian after this last period of being tired. because of work i’ve been running from one place to another and eventhough i work only mornings the rest of my day is spent between organizing baby food, supermarkets, supply shopping and making sure i don’t have one meal not taken care of for them, this has made me hate being in the kitchen for too long and skipping lots of dinners for my stomach is full from the smells of healthy baby soups such as potatoes, pumpkins, green beans, spinach, apple, pear, papaya, mango, banana, lettuce, courgettes, spaghetti, rice, peach, chicken, fish, rabbit, lamb… my oh my how i wish i didn’t have to feed them all these vegetables. it makes me lie all the time, for they are my enemies, the veggies i mean, and i have to pretend “it’s good for you!”… when i know one day in their lives, if they’re anything like me, they’ll hate them all. but i’m persistent and they will try everything if it depends on me! stay strong mommy!

so i guess in nine months i feel tired but somehow relaxed. my boys eat well, sleep well, crawl (backwards), stand (with help), talk (…don’t ask what…), play with eachtoher (more like stealing eachothers toys and smiling as if it will last forever this freindship!), get angry (and scream my ears off), touch stuff they can’t, and take two baths per day in this too hot country! my boys are growing and we’re right behind them.

products that work 001

nipple protectors

i know, it’s funny to open a blog and have nipple protectors as a welcome image, but i assure you, you have to read this or at least pretend. i found this product on an AVENT catalog, while i was 7months pregnant and wondering how the heck was i supposed to nurse (as americans like to say. breastfeeding for us other normal human beings) twins!

all around me people told me “breastfeeding is wonderful, but you’ll have twins so you probably won’t be able to…” or better “don’t even think about it, it hurts enough to breastfeed one, let alone two!”, or even “you’ll never have enough milk!”… or better days i’d hear “don’t even try it, because after a while you won’t have enough so at least you didn’t ruin your breasts!”… i was devastated.

i wouldn’t be able to give my own milk to my babies… i kept immagining all the disadvantages of it and felt horrible. the things you hear and read about breastfeeding makes you think babies that don’t are horrible. so… i panicked… TWO horrible babies was going to be too much for me. instead of letting the panick get out of proportion i decided to buy these NIPPLE PROTECTORS and think positive really, because ok so i was going to have twins, but who knew? i could probably nurse them for a few days have that mother/baby moment everyone talks about and then change to bottle feeding.

the moment they were born i put them to my breasts and noticed how easy it was for them to feed. they never complained and milk was slowly coming up… those first three days at the hospital i had no use for the PROTECTORS because milk isn’t so liquid so it was up to the babeis and my massages to give them enough food. it worked.

the day i left the hospital the nurse sadly looked at me and said “take this prescription for artificial milk and give it to them from the moment you get home, your milk won’t be enough”… i was devastated. on the way home i remembered the protections i had bought and how thinking positive soemtimes does work. so as soon as these babies got home i fed them. my milk had finally come up, it was liquid enough to put the protectors on and off we went. they fed for 20min each, never falling asleep, never distracting from their food and burped perfectly well. and guess what i didn’t feel any pain, nor sore feeling on my nipples afterwards.

everyday, and before every breastfeed i wondered if i had enough milk, but the other wonderful thing about the proctections is that if you have the feeling nothing comes out, juts slowly push it out of their mouths while they’re drinking and you can actually see how much milk is in it, making it very easy for you to understand the amount. it was always full to my delight. and at every feed my nipples were ok.

…the most horrible thing i heard someone tell me about these protections was that they would influence my babie’s mental development. that by using them, the baby would only get air inside, it would go up to his head and make him mentally disabled and basically not normal. i cried a lot becasue of this… i felt so annoyed and scared at the same time. i spoke to my pediatrician and she laughed, she said there was no way that could happen and i shouldn’t listen to people like that. that i should do what i felt was ok to do. whoever said those things had no idea how much that could affect MY mental health… but the person who made these comments will never understand how much it affected me and how ridiculous she is.

i never wanted to prove anyone wrong. i wanted only to give my babies the best, and if that meant breastfeeding for their first 3months for 16times a day, 8 for each baby, then that’s what i had to do. slowly at night he started giving them a bottle so i could sleep for longer hours at night, it made wonders, but my babies were having my milk for most of the day.

all this while using the AVENT protections and feeling so glad i did.

7 months i breastfed (the equivalent of 14months for one child!). 7 months i gave them what i could to make them as healthy as they could be. they have never been sick. they are very healthy. they seem normal mentally! ;) and my breast even though smaller they look ok after so much use. yes i do feel like i spent their first 7 months of life naked from the waist up, but it was all worth it and i hope that if i have any other children, hopefully just one at a time, i’ll be able to give it the same quality product too! all using something to protect myself too.

so. i reccomend it. i do. you might think it’s stupid, mothers don’t use it and are fine, sure, i know. but i didn’t want to risk having sore nipples and trying to breastfeed with a smile while crying of pain.

seven

no matter how much i get amazed by them each month… the month later takes my breath away. i hope it never stops and always perfect like this. always with nothing less than happiness in my heart.

these little boys are seven months old. we as a family as seven months old. and i just awww… i am fulfilled, i am happy and complete… as if never before i knew what that meant.

my boys can sit up straight and wave at their mommy with smiles, giggles and somewhat funny and ma da ba be words in M’s vocabulary and a few uuuu eeee iiiiiiii aaauuuuuuu ooooo in F’s… words indeed that make us crack up laughing because their faces are esquisite and almost make us understand what they say. that’s probably what i loved about this month, it’s that need for them to start expressing themselves not just through crying, but through sounds that don’t brake your heart. for instante, they cry now very seldomly, crying was never their favorite thing, and i confess i hated hearing it too, but now it seems it only happens when they fall backwards when sitting and mommy’s distracted, or when i insist on making them swim in the ocean, and instead they “call” us now with sounds, words if you like and giggle when they actually realize it works. and we love it.

the seventh month was also their mommy’s favorite month of the year, it’s my birthday month, i became 31 and enjoyed every minute of it, my day was my day with them for the first time and man did i love thinking that deep down they were singing “happy bday” for me hoping i’d hear it with my heart… i heard. i felt it and i’m sure they did.

xmas and new years was a beautiful experience, it’s indeed amazing how much more special these dates are when you have children around. in my family things were literally getting boring by the year and i confess it always brought me down. everyone spoke of dead people, sick people or alone people… presents sometimes felt had no personal intention and sometimes when they did… it didn’t seem appreciated. so i started giving myself less and less to the xmas spirit and just made it an excuse to go home, be on a holiday for 3weeks, enjoy my beautiful city of lisbon and pretend it was just another visit home. i even started imagining what it would be like if one could just sleep through it… like i use to with new years…

and then all of a sudden they’re here… and you wonder why the hell the spirit was gone… the spirit actually, that funny xmas spirit is still alive and kicking, because opening presents is just as amazing as creating someone’s first xmas… and all those traditions to come. we decided after much discussion that we’d have dinner at a cousin’s house like we0ve done the past two years, open their presents to us, and ours to them there, but keep the boy’s presents, from us, and anyone who was so kind for the morning of the 25th. this way mommy’s lifetime tradition and daddy’s were kept. on the morning of the 25th i was awaken by the boys chit chatting waiting for me to feed them and as i did i realized i was anxious for them to see the few presents they had in front of them… because the boys can0t climb into our bed yet, i woke him up and told them “the boys are up!” we both ran to the living room and together watched them try to understand why all of a sudden there was a tree with colorful balls and presents in front of them. mommy helped and slowly they started playing with their new toys. toys from italy, clothes from portugal, animals from maputo, decorations from mom and dad… it was something to see. i loved it. and maybe yes, opening presents in the morning has it’s beautiful moments, drinking coffee watching them play, still being in your pijamas and after so much happiness fall asleep altogether on the livign room floor… so maybe i can handle it, i can start this new thing, and slowly year by year make it perfect.

as for new year’s, we had no traditions to follow, but it’s true that last year, we were here, and this year we thought we should not go back to the same spot, but yet to the same feeling of summer, so off to the beach we went and enjoying the year end and start again in the sun, with swimsuits, ocean waves. we headed south to Ponta do Ouro and enjoyed a perfect long weekend of pure relaxation. we had the best company, grandparents and greatgrandparents for our bunnies, lots of cutenees and amazing food. no more, no less. just us.

and so another year begins and i have no intention of making resolutions i cannot keep, i have made some wishes, i have dreamt of certain things i’d like to happen this year… as a true portuguese i have 12 things i wish for, each with every raisin (tradition in portugal) but i have forgotten them already and that will make this year again a surprise. let it be.

i never imagined 2010 like it was, never thought how happy, loved, tired, overwhelemd, exhausted, smiley, sad, fullfilled, used, naked, complete and with two beautiful boys and a great “husband” i’d be… so, all i need for xmas and new year is them.

a very BUNNY xmas!

to all of you who see us all over the world. we hope your xmas was as lovely and cute as ours.

our first xmas of many as a family.

a very BUNNY xmas to all of you… from far away Mozambique… where the heat is unbearable but the sun shines for all.

sei di noi

not six of us, no i’m not expecting twins again, but six months of this new life we have started.

it feels just like the beginnning, it feels like it has never been any different than this.

the 6th month is indeed an exciting one, it has blown me away the amount of things happening in 30 days of the lives of such tiny people. m. and f. have grown up so much, not in height, not in weight, thankfully, but in abilities. smiles stopped being innocent and silent, they have become laughs, with loud giggles. giggles that i thought would come much later but that surprised me one late afternoon when tickling them and m. started making a sound i didn’t recognize to hear it again from f. and realizing “my kids giggle” while alone in the house with them. being a mommy is wonderful but to be the first to hear their giggles is something out of this world! i remember my mother always showing me a picture of my first laugh, and one of her friends is next to me, so she was always “the one who you laughed to for the first time” and now i’m always going to be, even if they hate me when they’re 16, the one that heard them giggle first. and funny enough i giggled with them, except i had also tears coming down from my proud eyes, it was very emotional to hear it from both of them at the same time.

of course i don’t cry all the time they do something new, like for example eating!! they have started their long way into discovering food, and believe me, i’m very picky when it comes to food, or at least used to be very picky, since i met him i have changed my diet, not so much in taking things out of it, but introducing ingredients to my stomach, palat and life… such as… vegetables!!! things like: carrots, pumpkin, potatoes, sweet-potatoes, green beans, brocoli, cauli-flower, zucchini, apple, pear, banana, papaya have become my boy’s favorite things, ok so potatoes didn’t really go that well, they hated it really, and i don’t blame them, all the rest is so sweet why would they?! i didn’t mind because i’ve heard horrible stories of kids that don’t eat anything and i really was a bit worried to think that i could have one of those… worst, two of those! but my babies are his’ kids and that could mean only one thing, they’ll eat anything!!!! and love meal time, seating on their little green chairs, which everyone loves, and sit on the dining table looking out onto the tree tops with birds singing (it’s funny to see them follow the birds not looking at the food, but cry when the spoon takes too long…) it’s been a treat to watch them experience new things everyday. it’s even a good exercise for me, because seriously i can’t pretend too well that brocoli is a tasty thing, so i sing-along and say things like “yummy brocoli, a little green tree that tastes sooooo good!” and they smile and i think how silly must i look when i absolutely hate brocoli. anyway… i know it’s good for them so i’ll keep pretending.

what else… f. likes to always have his feet on the ground standing up whenever he can, thinking he can do it on his own, but no! m. discovered he has a voice, a boys’ voice, and talks all the time, yells even and gets confused when we speak to him in his own language.

they discovered their feet and even though haven’t started eating them, love playing and  rolling sideways and even turning themselves off the turtle (the turtle being a great sponge play mat offered by Rita and Hugo that has become a center piece in our living room since we arrived with m. and f.), sometimes hearing a little cry, sometimes getting just smiles and we hope they really don’t fall off of it… it’s 7cm high…

nothing is really boring with these two. they were also treated to the grandparent’s visit for two weeks and with them a twin stroller arrived and it’s been a great thing, if it’s good weather and have nothing to do, i pack their milk, their lunch, their diapers inside the stroller and off we go, direction? everywhere! as long as we can sit somewhere and feed them i’m ok with anything, they love looking around, having toys in it with them aaaand it takes them about 20m to fall sleep. perfect for a mommy that has regained her coffee out addiction!!!

so as you see it’s been a full month, between new abilities, grandparents that taught them how to fall asleep by themselves (thank you mom and dad!), dummies that no longer stay attached to their mouths 24/7 seeing that now they take it off if they’re not sleepy, fingers in mouths when they need a cuddle, diaper sizes that change, toys that all of a sudden seem too babyish for them, utensils for eating that i hadn’t thought of and can’t find here so had them sent with the parents, a stroller that makes all the times they cried with the little car seats unbearable worth it, the heat that let’s us take them to the Indian Ocean and watch them look at the little waves and smile but cry when i dip their tiny toes in it, seeing them feel ticklish with their feet in the sand, watching them learn how to sit straight and lift their hands to their lips just two cms and fall sideways with no support, breastfeeding them still (to those who ever thought i could never do this… it’s been almost 7 months of good mommy milk, very proud of myself too!) and all those other little details that they put into my life, i could keep going forever, i hope to register them all in my mind, if not in photos and videos, but that will keep me company for a very long time.

and just to finish off, twins really to share things differently, they complete each other and they know the other is always there. until now we haven’t seen any jeaulousy scenes, no baby gets upset if the other gets something, they are more and more aware that they are two and that mommy and daddy cannot be with just one all the time. we try our best to play with both so that they can also learn to play together but sometimes we realize with been with one for too long and feel the need, and miss the other. that is not because we’re doing something wrong but it’s because all this twin business can be an overload of feelings. it takes time, but it’s been though a rollercoaster and mighty fun one and a rewarding up hill. they are developing differences in their characters and soon i’m sure we’ll be able to answer everyone’s important and annoying question “who cries the most”, poeple actually seem sad when i say that they almost never cry for no reason at all, and if that wasn’t enough of a dissapointment they seem almost strangely surprised when they see how calm, and smiley and friendly they are. this is my special reward for all that good milk and all those 5 month of breastfeeding continuously, they are beautiful and the most friendly babies ever and even though they have only starting sleeping all night in their 6th month, i know that whatever we did, helped them feel safe, secure, happy and healthy.

to you my boys, thank you for these wonderful 6months, dreams do come true, sometimes twice as much!

p.s.: just so this blog doens’t become a baby blog… too late… we moved! yes we moved from the mithical Rua do Sol to Argelia… closer to good coffee, walking distande from the parks, friends right around the corner and lots and lots of sunshine coming in from my little breakfast room! it’s a blissful life sometimes… ah sure, it’s 36º almost everyday for those stuck up there in the winter.